Tales From the Customer Service Desk

My friend Stacy, who works at the customer service desk, has been telling me stories. Some of them are just too good not to share.

ONE

An elderly lady called the service desk and asked if we'd gotten any more corn in. Stacy assured her that we had.

Caller: That's good. You know, we looked at your corn the other day and there's something wrong with it. Did you know it's white?

Stacy: Yes, ma'am. It's white corn. It's supposed to be white.

Caller: White corn? I've never heard of such a thing. And it was so hard! I went over there and poked at it, and you know, I just don't think I could have chewed it.

Stacy: . . . you do know that you have to cook it first, right?

She didn't. She said she'd never heard of such a thing. Stacy gave her directions for boiling it. She (Stacy) said she wasn't about to try to tell her how to grill it.

TWO

A man called wanting advice about his "two stage, sit down transformer", but he didn't know what department he needed. Stacy didn't know what a two stage, sit down transformer was. He said it was "a thing". She asked him what he uses it for. He said "all kinds of stuff".

THREE

A lady called and told Stacy that she's nursing and she's developed a rash. She wanted to know if there's an anti-histimine she can take while breastfeeding. (We really need better health care in this country!)

FOUR

A teenage girl called to ask if she could re-use old earrings to get her ears pierced rather than buy a new kit. Stacy told her no, sorry, against health regulations. The girl said, "but I'm trying to do it at home and it's bleeding and it hurts!" (Heather in jewelry claims this is not an unusual request, btw.)

and FIVE

A woman called. She found a little blue pill on her bathroom floor. She didn't know what it was and wanted to know whether or not she should take it.