Chapter and Verse

Mindy Tarquini keeps telling me I need to write a non-fiction book about my experiences converting an Amish-built shed into a liveable cottage (before winter!). I haven't taken too many notes, but I have started a list of chapter headings (in no particular order):

• TRENCHES, and why you shouldn't dig them until you know for sure where they need to go.


• Why planning is the second thing you should do.


• TOOLS and how to lose them.


• Why you should respect electricity and what happens when you don't.


• The unfitness of wasps as subcontractors.


• Why it is important to measure FIRST, cut SECOND.


• 101 ways to hurt yourself without even trying.


• Slip-sliding away, or What happens when you try to install a submersible pump without having a clue what you're doing. (I haven't actually gotten to that part yet, so consider this a prophecy.)


• How many times do I have to give up before I can actually stop trying?


• Why it is better to have a first-aid kit in advance, than wish you'd had one in retrospect.


• The importance of clear-cut guidelines and why I wish I'd used some.


• The folly of shopping for electrical supplies without knowing exactly what you need.


• How to pretend it's someone else's fault when you're exchanging electrical supplies. ("I told the dog I thought I'd need a 100 amp breaker box, but he was just sure . . . .")


• What to say when your friends laugh at you.


• What to say when your cats laugh at you.


(Image from here.)


• 1001 excuses you can use for still not having the electricity hooked up.
• Power tools and how not to use them.


• And, finally, a handy glossary of swear words.

So, how's the project going? Uh, kind of like the search for Bin Laden. Nothing yet, but I keep hoping. :-/